Private Thoughts

since beginning my transition, most of my mind life has been turned towards the task at hand: becoming. sadly, this has involved a significant increase in what one might call "private thoughts". i fancy myself introspective and like to think through things before i begin or as i engage in a task, and transition is one of life's great works.

what do i do with these feelings and thoughts? some i find manageable forms for the public internet, so i post them to bsky or here. others tho feel important but must not be shared online. maybe i don't endorse them, maybe they're considered gauche, maybe they're wonderful but private. in all cases, they swirl around in my head and heart, and i do my best to find ways of expressing them to safe people in my life or suffer discomfort as they strain to burst free.

i've had private thoughts my whole life (i know, hard to believe), but this is the first time where i've felt like most of my thoughts are positive and worthy of sharing, but that i must not share them. transition is beautiful, but the world is full of unsafe people who would only turn what i say into a weapon against me.

idk it's just annoying. i like to share.