Thoughts and bits

On 'Male Socialization'

Fri, 15 May 2026 16:26:00 +0000

there's "male socialization" discourse on bluesky, and it has been making me reevaluate my life and my experiences of malehood. i've wondered about that idea before, didn't come up with a satisfying answer so i let it be. but after reading lots of posts, i've been reconsidering my own experiences, the ways i was inculcated and hazed and rejected by men in my life, mostly found wanting or lacking or not measuring up.i was bullied a lot as a child, basically nonstop from 6 to 17, and while it's hard to pinpoint the effects, i know they exist and influenced me. mostly, they led me to find relationships with women as the safest place. now, i've been hurt and excluded and probably bullied by women too (what can i say, i have a bullyable personality), but overall the most meaningful relationships of my life have been friendships with women.i think this is partially because i believe deep down that men are not trustworthy. even my closest male friends, i don't feel safe opening up to. partially this is the weight of toxic masculinity, but it's also fear and self protection. in the eyes of "men", i have been judged and rejected. was i "male socialized"? i've certainly steeped in the misogynist culture like a bloated teabag, but i've also pushed back on it, worked on myself, selected the parts that work and excised the parts that don't. i am grateful my parents and community didn't label me a slur and beat me, i guess.

Book Review: Margo's Got Money Troubles

Tue, 12 May 2026 11:45:00 +0000

Sometimes, the prose felt inspired, marvelous and deft, and I luxuriated in it. Rufi made me laugh, made me worry, peppered little insights about humanity and art in here. And then the prose would shift into a didactic passage, like an informational segment on PBS, and I would recoil like a spider jumped on my face.I liked the story overall. I wish she could have figured out how to write about some of these topics more subtly.I don't think I'm the target audience for "Baby's First Class War", or "Baby's First Encounter with Sex Work". I am already well aware of how evil American society is, so I spent most of the book feeling existing anger and disgust rise up in me at the way our young heroine Margo is treated by everyone, and the moments of "wow, isn't this fucked up?" rang hollow because I'd seen them coming and was already yelling at the screen book.

Commissions

Mon, 11 May 2026 17:15:00 +0000

I have commissioned an erotic piece of art. (You can see it in the brand-new Gallery.) As seen there, I previously commissioned a profile pic from Flynn Nichols, which I still use 3 years later and love dearly. Erotic art is different, however. I have a lot of mixed up feelings with sex and I've been struggling to untangle them.I think the crux of the issue is that I am an erotic being, a bag of meat that experiences sensual pleasure, horniness, anticipation, climax, sweat and blood and saliva. However, we live in an age where such feelings are chastised if not downright vilified. Our tv shows are full of chaotic violence but a single nipple is enough to spawn a letter-writing campaign. Interpersonally, it can be scary to express such things because I have a family. What happens when a weirdo decides to attempt to ruin my life because they don't like something I expressed about sex? Am I so sure my boss, my church, my friends, even my family will be on my side? Hard to say with any confidence.In the face of that pressure, I say, "I am who I am." I like erotic art and I will not hide that so.

Bluesky Comments

Mon, 04 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000

ImportantEDIT: I WROTE ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT AND FORGOT TO CREDIT THE AUTHOR OF MY JAVASCRIPT CODE! FUCK MY STUPID LIFE! I'M SORRY JONATHAN!The javascript & css for the bluesky comment support from this post by Jonathan Moallem at Caps Collective. I modified it lightly for my purposes but otherwise it's copy-pasted from inspecting the source code of that page. I claim no ownership and thank him heartily.back to the original post:i've added support for Bluesky replies to my posts. they don't load unless you click the link that says "load bluesky comments", and the js comes to like 50 lines? not terrible imo. why support this site? it's run by shitty techlords and the "credible exit" is still unknown. however, i decided i wanted to host my own pds because i like having control of stuff and why not experiment with cool tech. turns out, it's pretty easy, so now everything i post to bluesky and other atproto sites flows into https://pds.noahbogart.com. additionally, i set up my own tangled "knot" (git server), so anything i host there is sitting on knot.noahbogart.com.

Losing Skills

Sun, 03 May 2026 20:59:00 +0000

For the last year, I've been driving a 2025 Toyota Sienna, a boat of a minivan. It's got all sorts of fancy features that I won't get into right now, but the big one that bothers me the most is a "lane drift" sensor that makes the steering wheel vibrate if you start to leave your lane (without a turn signal) and will actually turn the wheel/redirect the vehicle for you if you drift too far. Ostensibly, this is a great feature, as it helps you notice a Very Bad Thing™, but I've found that it's had the opposite effect on me.Even tho I can toggle it off, and I now do, I've spent enough time with it on that I've noticed that I drift in my lanes significantly more. I drive a "normal" car pretty frequently as well, a 2016 Subaru, and regardless of how determined I am to pay attention, the last year I've had more close calls and moments of lane drifting that in the 20+ years of driving beforehand. I have lost my habitual lane touching, my gentle turns and checks that keep the car centered in my lane, because I have quite accidentally learned to drive with bowling bumpers. Instead of staying consistently midline, I grew to accept and rely on bouncing between the edges of the lane, making me a less safe driver for my self, my family, and for everyone on the highway around me.Having noticed this the last couple months, I've been making a concerted effort to relearn this skill, to focus my whole attention on staying centered in the lanes, to keep distractions to a minimum, to place my hands where they should go. It's slow work, truthfully, but I refuse to back down and will not allow myself to ever use such a feature again. Cars are evil, dangerous creatures and demand respect.

Winter Olympics 2026

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 14:46:00 +0000

Every 2 years I enter a state of frenzy, where I become obsessed with the Olympics. I grew up watching the Olympics in prime time with my mom. The whole family and friends would watch, but my mom cared the most and so I did as well. I took many years off of watching for various reasons, missing 2006-2016, and each year since 2018 I've increased the amount I watch. This year is the most yet, relying on Peacock's streaming service that is equal parts shit and excellent.Here's all the events I've watched so far (as of 2026-02-13):

God of War Thoughts

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 11:09:00 +0000

saw credits in 25 hours.i finished god of war and it was fine. a perfectly reasonable use of time but nothing inspiring or compelling, tbh.

Vacations

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 09:10:00 +0000

Vacations are hard. A lot of work to make happen, filled with joy and stress throughout, and the ending which hangs heavy. Another one has come to an end in our family and I'm left with a familiar poignant ache, mourning the loss for my children as well as for myself.It's hard to handle how sharp endings are, the finality of it all. I've spent 5 months looking forward to this trip, planning for it with my wife, talking it up with my kids, and now in the blink of an eye it's all over? As soon as it started it's done? It feels unfair. It goes no faster than life at home, and yet I don't spend months anticipating doing the exact same stuff i've been doing the rest of the time.I hope they look back on these trips with as much fondness as I did as a kid. Spending time with cousins who live far away, going to the beach, eating treats night and day, falling asleep in my arms at a restaurant because they played too hard...

Bad At Blogging

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 11:38:00 +0000

cohost made it very easy to post. bluesky makes it easy to post but posting there sucks. even tho cohost was public, it gave a wonderful illusion of being out of sight (if not actually private) which enabled more freeing posting. the nicer post editor helped too. it's hard to imagine posting shorter things here but where else should i post them?blogs feel so weighty compared to microblogging.

Jedi Survivor Rambles

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 09:10:00 +0000

spoiler warning for the ending of jedi survivor.i finished the game and thought the ending sucked ass. i wrote a bunch to some friends and have adapted it to a longer rant here.

Now update

Thu, 29 May 2025 09:24:00 +0000

I began to update the Now page and realized that because it's ephemeral, I should put all of my transient thoughts in a post first.

Star Wars Outlaws Review

Wed, 28 May 2025 14:40:00 +0000

NoahTheDuke BACKERreviewed Star Wars OutlawsCompletedonPlayStation 5 The greatest Star Wars game ever made.The way the "open world" is built in Star Wars Outlaws lends itself to a style of storytelling that is both supported by the game and open for player interpretation. As a player, I can feel like I am inhabiting a well-rendered character (Kay Vess) and also have ownership over her story through my actions. These acts might be small (choose one mission over another) or big (choose between two potential rulers of a crime syndicate), but at each moment I am making decisions without being completely flat, which is my fundamental issue with From Software's oeuvre.The gameplay exists in service of the goal, to feel like you are in a smuggler and outlaw in the Star Wars universe. The primary mechanics of shooting, riding the hoverbike, piloting the ship, sneaking, climbing and exploring; the minigames of choosing fathiers in a bar, playing sabacc with scumbags, playing atari-style bar games, eating a spicy lunch with Nix; it all feels designed to support the sense that you're the scrappy underdog.Every time I walk down a path and overhear a conversation that turns into a side quest to help someone sell a racehorse to jabba or find their lost brother or spy on someone they don't like; when Nix runs off a path which leads to a fun series of climbs, or I find another Jet Kordova hologram and must study the map, or I accidentally blow up some stormtroopers and find myself WANTED by the Empire; all of this leads to a sense of immersion that is unmatched by other Star Wars games.Even the very competent Jedi Survivor last year did not have this level of "lived in"-ness. Reviewed on May 28, 2025

Blue Prince Review

Wed, 28 May 2025 11:25:00 +0000

NoahTheDuke BACKERreviewed Blue PrinceCompletedonPlayStation 5 A really pleasant way to spend time with my wife. We played it almost every night this last month; we took notes together, talked about it over meals and during our kids bath times, planned our next session, experienced the heights of elation and the bitter disappointment of failure.Many times I found myself frustrated and disappointed with my experience of the game due to its design. The drafting mechanics are clever and interesting but also frustrating and annoying, stymieing the simple joy of exploration and discovery. I would have quit the game on multiple occasions were it not for my wife who helped buoy my spirits and rejuvenate my efforts.We saw credits, did a follow-up run which revealed another layer of complex puzzles, and decided to set the game down. Maybe we'll return to it another time, but for now, we have seen what we came to see: Room 46. Reviewed on May 28, 2025

Goals and plans for the new year

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 21:09:00 +0000

I have some plans for the new year that I'd like to put to paper as a small measure of accountability and internal pressure to follow through. I don't expect to do all of these, all goals are transitory and cannot account for future changes, but I do plan to hold these in mind as I move through the year.

Super Mario Bros. Wonder review

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 09:30:00 +0000

NoahTheDuke BACKERreviewed Super Mario Bros. WonderCompletedonNintendo Switch Finished main levels after 15 hours, only minor effort put into getting all purple coins and wonder seeds.I think this game has some fantastic ideas, really clever levels and fun wonder sequences, but most of it left me feeling bored and listless. The game was not very hard but occasionally very frustrating, the levels were fairly short and forgettable, and the entire thing felt like a couple good ideas bloated to a feature length game.I'm not mad I played it, but it didn't fill me with excitement either. Compared to 3D Works which I played through a second time immediately upon finishing it, here I'm just glad to be done. Reviewed on Dec 01, 2024

Lattes

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 13:09:00 +0000

Every so often I decide to get a latte from a coffee shop instead of black coffee (pour over preferably). It is nearly always a mistake. I like the taste of black coffee, especially if it's a good bean like a single origin Ethiopian or Guatemalan. Lattes have a nice flavor on first sip, but they tend to sit heavier and don't go cold as gracefully.The other issue is that lattes want to be cortados, but it's harder to justify paying $3-$5 for 3 oz of drink compared to $4-$6 for 12 oz of coffee. A bit of milk to lighten espresso is great; a bit of espresso to go with my heated milk sucks actually.I just gotta stop buying lattes, it's almost always a mistake.

Posting small thoughts

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 12:58:00 +0000

I'm trying out Working Copy on ios to post from mobile. It's more cumbersome than Cohost's excellent editor, but I'm hopeful that in the long run this will suit me. Because the number one change I felt over the last two years was a freedom to post when I had the urge, which is traditionally hard with static sites.Previews??? who needs em, i know what i'm doing 🥲

parks and rec

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 22:33:00 +0000

Conspiracy theory: Parks and Rec was a psyop to make people hate Hillary Clinton-era liberals.Yes, my wife is rewatching Parks and Rec, why do you ask?

what should we name our kid?

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 15:43:00 +0000

my wife is preggers again and we're back on that grindset, trying to find a "boy" name(i know, don't at me lol).if you had to name a kid born with a penis, what would you choose?

Auto-deploying to Github

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 07:38:00 +0000

My current blog system uses Cryogen and compiled all markdown into html when I ran it locally. This sucked, so I've switched to relying on Github Actions to deploy the generated content to the pages site. Thankfully, it's much better now.

my cohost retrospective

Sat, 28 Sep 2024 22:34:00 +0000

NoteI wrote this hours before the website https://cohost.org closed.i have never blogged so much, made so many dumb jokes, or engaged so fervently and honestly. i've made some friends, learned some things, and found that it feels good to share without having to self select or edit my thoughts (compared to facebook, the previous site of my mostly honest thoughts).i've enjoyed no numbers, the css crimes, and eggbug.

more Blasphemous thoughts

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 00:25:00 +0000

i'm still playing blasphemous, trying to finish it, and it's a grind in part because there's no quest markers or log or anything. i don't remember characters, i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing, i'm just going around trying to unlock new portions of the map, and exploring old stuff.it's frustrating to climb to the highest point in the map, see that i'm supposed to going further up but that it's blocked off, and see no way to progress.i looked up a guide, and i'm in the second or third to last area, but all of the exploration stuff has been done, and none of the characters in supposed to talk to are where they said to be, so what now? lol

Blasphemous is hard as hell

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 12:25:00 +0000

but it feels incredible to play. movement is precise, dodging and blocking feel good, the art is some of the best, the music is haunting. i remember enjoying it but i don't remember enjoying it this much. I did play it immediately after playing Ori and the Blind Forest so many maybe that was my problem. i almost want to restart just so i can remember what the hell is going on in the story.

heat signature

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 04:17:00 +0000

i'm up to 19 hours in a week and I won't stop until i've liberated the whole galaxy. i am bursting with enthusiasm about it but idk how to write about it without falling into cliche. the available tools allow for unparalleled artistry when executing a plan or recovering from an alarm.idk it's great. it was opaque and dense and hard as hell at first but now i'm pulling off tricks, clearing a room in a second without second thought.

made of meat

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 00:56:00 +0000

4 year old, interrupting my bed time song: cows are made of meat. are humans made of meat? me: yes, we are made of meat. her: do we eat human meat? me: no. her: why not? me: well, it's complicated, but there are 3 primary reasons...i ended on telling her about prions and how scary they are and she was like "i'm not gonna eat human meat" and i was like "that's smart, please don't"

Elden Ring Review

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 00:37:00 +0000

NoahTheDukereviewed Elden RingShelvedRetired at 75 hours I might have put this at 4.5, but I took a full star off for every 15 hours past where this game was worth continuing to play. Limgrave was excellent, 10/10, and then the rest of the game was a steady decline of interesting or compelling stuff to do, and by the time I quit in the final area, I was so over it that I only feel annoyed and disappointed.Almost no game is worth the time I put into this one, and I wish I hadn't tried. Reviewed on Sep 16, 2024

Personal Cohost Archive

Sat, 14 Sep 2024 13:12:00 +0000

I've written a converter to translate a selected number of my posts from the now-defunct blogging platform and social media website https://cohost.org. They're poorly converted to markdown and I don't plan on doing much with them except host them for personal posterity. A few will appear in my main feed, most will not. They can be viewed here.I have decided to remove this and purely rely on moving specific posts over. I don't need to carry the baggage of all that forward. I have it for my personal usage and that's good enough. Let eggbug sleep, she deserves it.

splint release: autocorrection bby

Sun, 08 Sep 2024 20:15:00 +0000

Big feature: Safety and AutocorrectionEvery rule has been marked as safe or unsafe. Safe rules don't generate false positives and any suggested alternatives can be used directly. Unsafe rules may generate false positives or their suggested alternatives may contain errors.Rules that are safe may also perform autocorrection, which is tracked in defrule with :autocorrect. Rules may only perform autocorrection if they're safe.

Clojure 1.12 released!!!

Thu, 05 Sep 2024 20:25:00 +0000

https://clojure.org/news/2024/09/05/clojure-1-12-0I'm excited as hell for this one. The qualified method syntax along with treating Java methods as first-class values means that writing interop will be much nicer. :param-tags letting you differentiate between overloads is killer too. The longer I've spent in Clojure, the more Java I've had to wrangle, and these have been big pain points.

Jedi Survivor play report

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 12:37:00 +0000

Started playing Jedi Survivor after burning out on Elden Ring again.This game is a blast. The grappling hook feels great, the writing is fun, Cameron Monaghan's voice acting is a little subdued for my tastes but that's okay. new force powers are odd, still getting used to them, but the split blade is sick.there's freaking battle droids in this one, so we get their chatter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10/10 game

Uncharted 2 review

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 02:47:00 +0000

NoahTheDukereviewed Uncharted 2: Among Thieves RemasteredCompletedonPlayStation 4 A perfectly fine way to spend some evenings. The action/adventure sequences are fun, the set pieces are still beautiful, the occasional funny quip, but the rest is forgettable.Mushy controls, worse combat, threadbare stealth, along with another Nathan Drake story that didn't hold much weight. I played it on easy because I don't think this is worth any effort especially if you've played The Last of Us which is better in almost every way. (I will say that Nathan Drake sucks less than Joel, the worst human alive.)I love Elena tho, she's my ride or die. Reviewed on Aug 25, 2024

bad (job) thoughts

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 16:12:00 +0000

me when i have a job: i think i'm just naturally happy. i don't get sad often or for long periods and i easily roll with the punches of day to day life.me when i don't have a job: maybe i should kill myself.

Ocaml wishlist

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 19:52:00 +0000

On twitter, someone asked: "But seriously, what changes would you make to OCaml which would worth it to break backward compatibility?"I replied with: "Borrow from Clojure! 1) Make (=) / polymorphic equality work on values (not structure). 2) Make "functional updates" of records nicer. 3) Change ref to work like clj atoms, add swap! as a built-in function. 4) Remove the mutable keyword, make ref the only mutating interface."Our very own @prophet responded ([1], [2], [3], [4]):

idk if i'll ever be as disappointed by an album as i was with glitch mob's love death immortality

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 04:50:00 +0000

after drink the sea (nearly perfect), i went in with such high hopes and yet even 10 years later, love death immortality just fucking sucks dude. not a single good song, almost none of the things that made me love drink the sea, just a complete abdication of their sound and style.

Splint v1.16.0

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 15:42:00 +0000

The --only cli flag is one I've been meaning to implement for a while but just hadn't gotten around to. It's really only helpful when you're zeroing in on a problem rule, but there will always be uses.The rule lint/duplicate-case-test is already checked by case's expansion, but I think it's good for static analysis tools to verify that stuff too. And lint/locking-object should help uncover subtle bugs, especially in concurrent situations.Honestly, having been fired, I just don't have the strong drive to work on this like I did. I no longer have a 140k sloc project to test against, so there's less for me to look at and find inspiration from. I'm trying to keep up with it tho, it's helpful to not get rusty.

Ocaml as Lisp

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 20:31:00 +0000

I know it's not the style, but I like to think of Ocaml like a Clojure that has more syntax, and just wrap everything in parentheses. Every function call, every assignment, every if block, everything.

no shade to the other artists but Hideki Naganuma's songs on the bomb rush cyberfunk soundtrack are the best.

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 14:39:00 +0000

Lacuna - A Sci Fi Noir Adventure

Sun, 30 Jun 2024 12:37:00 +0000

I played and beat Lacuna this week. Incredible little game. I guessed the big revelation during the prologue so that didn't hit so hard, but the rest was a delight. The way the cases and sheets are filled out was at first really hard and then much easier and more fun as the game went on. I thought i'd gotten everything right and then learned that I missed whole branches because i'd some early mistakes. Feels pretty great, especially for such a short and punchy game.Excellent music and soundtrack, beautiful pixel art, compelling universe. I was sad to finish the game, I want to spend more time here.

broke my iphone

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 15:35:00 +0000

i dropped my iphone nearly a week ago, busted the screen just enough that it no longer registers touches. so i swapped the sim into a flip phone and have been living an offline life.lemme tell you what, it's a pretty sick life. i'm slowly losing the sense of "i'm bored for 2 seconds, lemme look at my phone" which has been the bane of my adhd-riddled existence for 15 years.the flip phone uses KaiOS which is based on the firefox os lol, so it has no good apps and runs like shit, but honestly, having more friction means that i can't/won't load it up with a bunch of stuff. all i do is text my wife and make calls to places, which is ideal.

Clojure: Enterprise Edition reply

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 19:18:00 +0000

(I wrote the below in a comment on the original post)I work in enterprise and hobby Clojure, so I have some experience with this question.This is probably the primary issue with Clojure at scale. You have to either be strict in what kind of objects you create (peer review, extensive testing), or you mimic a type system in the runtime with assertions and validation checks. Both of these can be cumbersome and lead to issues which are hard to notice ahead of time and harder to debug.

Disenchantment

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 03:50:00 +0000

watched the final season after taking a year off. what a good fuckin show.i loved every happy ending, tbh. felt perfectly inline with the show for everyone to live happily ever after.this is the best show matt groening has ever done, by far.

i am so into my wife, dude

Tue, 28 May 2024 00:21:00 +0000

idk how to write it. i'm not a poet, i was raised by a writer but words don't come easily to me so when i feel these feelings, all i come up with is stuff like "she's so fucking hot" which is true but also shallow.it's like...every texture of her body is built to electrify me. each line, each curve, each shadow pulls me in. i feel suffocated by her, like she enters the room and my lungs fill with cotton. i want every square inch of her body in my mouth at once. i see her and it makes me lose my train of thought, i can't focus on anything else. i want to be enveloped by her, smothered and wrapped up and ensconced. i try to alight on a solid fantasy but they merge and meld and flow into the next too fast to hold for more than a moment.

they cut down the playground trees

Sat, 25 May 2024 18:01:00 +0000

if you are part of any decision making process that forbids trees and/or grass from playgrounds, i hope you fucking [violates facebook community standards]if you are part of any litigation against owners of playgrounds related to the presence of trees at a playground (a kid got hurt climbing a tree etc), i hope you fucking [violates facebook community standards]if you think that barren playgrounds, fully exposed to the sun and covered in heat absorbing plastic, are enjoyable for children, i hope you fucking [violates facebook community standards]

only through repetition do we grow

Fri, 17 May 2024 04:46:00 +0000

you know those cooking shows where they travel to some remote countryside place and interview a woman who's been making a certain bread for 50 years and is now old and frail but she's still got it, by god.and they're like "what's your secret?" and she's like "i've been making this bread every day for fifty years" and they're like "there you have it, folks, the secret is the kind of flour she uses."

consequences

Sun, 05 May 2024 13:01:00 +0000

wife: i'm putting this away because you keep doing what i've asked you to not do. your actions have consequences, [daughter].4 year old: no! they! don't!!!!!!

splint v1.15.0 - custom rules support!

Wed, 01 May 2024 18:07:00 +0000

I've been sitting on this release for a little while now, trying to find the right way to approach to supporting custom rules.The way the rules work currently, when a file with defrule is evaluated, the defrule macro adds the generated rule to a global atom. This simplifies a lot of stuff in the codebase, and makes adding new rules to splint pretty easy: make a new file, require it in the entrypoint for the library. However, users can't access that entrypoint from the cli, and while I've not exactly hidden the code, I don't think people should have to write their own entrypoint wrappers merely to include their own rules.Inspired by RuboCop YET AGAIN, I've added a new option, settable in the config file or by passing the relevant flag at the cli, to call load-file on a given set of files which will presumably call their custom defrule invocations. Because I'm relying on Clojure's built-in behavior, there is no extra code necessary for me to parse or validate the paths myself; I pass them to load-file in a loop and print any exceptions that are thrown.

open source maintenance

Wed, 01 May 2024 15:36:00 +0000

i am the maintainer of the vim syntax highlighting file for just, vim-just, and while i did the heavy lifting to write up the initial version back in 2021, i haven't cared much about keeping up with the latest changes and have let others make changes as they do.last year, someone offered to help out so i added them to the repo. i suspect it's their first time being a "contributor" on an open source project cuz they've spent the last year absolutely dedicated to the task of improving both the syntax highlighting and the bespoke syntax test runner we have that's written in rust. the project isn't that exciting and doesn't require that much effort but they've stayed up to date (to the day) of new syntaxes added to just and have been poking and prodding the test runner to make it faster and more idiomatic, including writing their own custom version of vim's built-in :ToHtml as it was removed in neovim. today, they mentioned "but we don't want code like this in production" which cracked me up because there's no "production" to be had here! doesn't matter, they give a shit and so i give a shit with them.there's no real point here, it's just fun to see someone really dive in and own something. i know open source maintenance is a touchy subject after the xz/liblzma stuff, but i still think it's worthwhile to give people a chance to make their mark and spend their effort on cool things.

miscarriage

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 21:22:00 +0000

my wife is experiencing a miscarriage right now. all either of us can do when we're alone together is hug and cry.be at peace, baby, and be gone

deeper well

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 04:14:00 +0000

i know it's still early in the year, but deeper well by kacey musgraves is an early contender for album of the year. it's so pleasant with a nice mix of poignant songs.

smelly hospital

Sun, 14 Apr 2024 16:02:00 +0000

4 y/o: it's sticky in the hospital me: oh yeah? is it your breath in the mask? her: no, i farted

Mental Math Pseudo Random Number Generation

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 04:39:00 +0000

> given a large prime p, a multiplier m, and a seed number x_0, a Lehmer PRNG can be defined by the recursive function x_{n+1} = m \cdot x_n \mod p.> One pair choice is p=59, m=6. Because 60 \equiv 1 \mod 59, each iteration is a simple matter of multiplying the ones digit by 6 and adding the tens digit. To illustrate, a sequence starting from 17 would continue 43, 22, 14, 25, 32, 15, 31, 9, 54, 29, ..., and taking just the unit's digit, that turns into 3, 2, 4, 5, 2, 5, 1, 9, 4, 9, which looks pretty random.> Next up is p=101, m=50. Because p=101, this construction has the advantage that the sequence goes from 1 to 100, making the distribution of the output stream uniform over 1 to 10 and providing a longer period. The choice of multiplier also simplifies computation: if the current state x_i is even, the next number x_{i+1} = 101 - \frac{2}, and if odd, x_{i+1} = 50 - \frac{2}. Not as nice as the previous example, but still not bad.

try, try again

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 01:13:00 +0000

4 y/o: papa, can we get [toy on tv]? Me: No. 4 y/o: momma, don’t listen to papa. Can we get [toy on tv]?

handsome hunky

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 18:29:00 +0000

my wife May: are you a pretty boy? yes yes 2 y/o: no, i hanome hucky her: you're a handsome hunky? him: yeah!!!!!!

Happy day in our house: Wish has come to Disney+

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 19:24:00 +0000

I picked up Going Under again, a good little podcast game

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 03:42:00 +0000

NoahTheDukereviewed Going UnderCompletedonNintendo Switch I cranked up the accessibility features cuz I already put 20 hours in and never got close to finishing it, and I certainly haven’t gotten better in the intervening years lol.This game is pretty good. Cute writing, fairly obvious and funny commentary on start ups and VC culture. The “corporate art” style is killer, imo. Really pops, gives everything a sense of place. The soundtrack is a lot of fun too.I’m playing on the Switch and I must say that it’s fairly choppy/framey. Not unsurprising given the hardware’s age, but it still struggles to show a fight with a handful of enemies and some fire effects without stuttering. Reviewed on Apr 03, 2024

Taken from stimslack

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 17:05:00 +0000

My 2 y/o was STRESSED last night

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 13:19:00 +0000

Things he shouted out at various points of his sleep:

jnet PR: costs

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:29:00 +0000

https://github.com/mtgred/netrunner/pull/7346this shit is another hefty one. i rewrote the primary data structure for costs. will be much simpler to track costs, add modifiers later, keep normal and additional costs distinct, and intelligently handle stealth costs.once this is done, i'm gonna implement system-wide additional cost checking, allowing you to reject paying for any and all additional costs.

Legal meth

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 13:05:00 +0000

It’s weird to use adderall/vyvanse/mixed methamphetamine salts and see immediate results. I’ve been without my drugs for a month due to the shortage but found my stash of old prescription that was too high, and decided to start taking it because I really like being productive.Turns out, when I take medication, I’m really fucking productive! That’s annoying! Why can’t I just be productive like this normally?Anyway, I stayed up until nearly 1 am last night working on jnet so at least it wasn’t purely for my job’s benefit.

Ruminations on technical debt in jnet (sent from my iPhone)

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 01:36:00 +0000

has a lot of problems, some which are easy to solve and some which are not. There’s a difference between bugs and tech debt. Bugs are things like “misplaced parameters”, or “forgot to check an additional predicate”. Technical debt is “the core system is built on callbacks” or “there is no game loop”.I had a wonderful conversation with someone who is attempting to implement the Netrunner rules as strictly as possible. (She’s gone so far as to implement Netrunner’s R&D location system instead of using a simple vector!) In our many back and forths, I am confident she learned nothing from me lol but I learned a lot from her, both about Netrunner and about how to structure a game engine for Netrunner.jinteki.net is not a good game engine. It works, in part due to the incredible amount of work we’ve all put in over the years, but (to be slightly rude) it has no right to work as well as it should. It’s full of cludges, ad-hoc systems, layers of ideas half implemented on top of each other like dirt strata.

portrait of kalvin brnine

Sun, 24 Mar 2024 12:20:00 +0000

Palisade 41 is really good

how do you be a good parent to a kid with a touch of the 'tism when you also have a touch of the 'tism

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 14:11:00 +0000

i'm not doing a good job and we can't see an occupational therapist until july.my 4 year old probably has sensory processing disorder and adhd, she's self-confident and precocious but lacking in any real world experiences, and she triggers me nearly every day like i'm living at home with my dad. (that's another story for another day.)

pain at work today

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 20:42:00 +0000

i try to merge to main, the test run on merge fails. i look at the failed test. it's from early 2022, it's 450 lines long, and it starts with defining 20 atoms (mutable variables) in a top-level let block.forget who wrote this, i'm mad about whoever approved this.

djot

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 02:20:00 +0000

y'all ever heard of djot? It's another markdown alternative, "a lightweight markup language" that's designed to be easier to parse (by computers). It's pretty nifty and I like the look of it. Makes me want to write a clojure parser for it.The inline attributes are specifically very cool. Feels like inline css but for markdown instead of hiding html within your markdown.Given:

cryptonomicon dinner scene

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:27:00 +0000

I think a lot about that conversation at the dinner party near the start of Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson where the stuffy academic is like “We have the information superhighway, but what about the information ghettos that lay beneath?” and Randy is like, “you’re so fucking dumb, that’s not how the internet works” and yet 25 years later it’s exactly how the internet works.

jinteki.net has full implementation of Rebellion Without Rehearsal

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 02:10:00 +0000

Full release notes:and while it says "RWR patch by nbkelly", this was a joint effort between nbkelly, Francesco Pellegrini, and butzopower. nbkelly has kept the playtest server updated as NSG developed the set, and buztopower and francesco did a lot of QA and engine work and test writing to ensure things are as good as they can be today. they're all champions and i'm very proud of them/glad for them to pick up the torch since I no longer have time to work on jnet.

target

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:47:00 +0000

On our way to targetMe: i miss community spaces. My wife May: you don’t think target is a community spa- hahaha

Reread the second half of Dune in preparation to see DUNC 2 in theaters

Sun, 17 Mar 2024 19:30:00 +0000

This book is fucking sick and it’s honestly disappointing to see how little of the machinations and politicking of included in the movies. We’ll see how much that changes in D2 but DUNC felt like the barest smatterings of dialogue and context so we could have some beautiful visuals.Which is like fine? But it means that all of the characters are flat, cardboard cutouts of their book selves, that’s basically no compelling reason to care what happens to anyone. My wife, who’s never read the books or seen previous adaptions said, “I can’t pick a favorite character because I don’t know any I’d these characters. Even Paul has no personality, no texture. The movie was one long fight that felt like a prologue to the second film.” I couldn’t disagree with that assessment.

"The main goal of this project was to create a sequence of inputs that beats [Pokemon FireRed] with an 100% chance of success."

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:22:00 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gjsAA_5Agki love when someone spends a year to do something insane.

more reign 2e thoughts: there's no gm chapter

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 15:20:00 +0000

okay, so i just skimmed the rules book again and there's no GM chapter. i glanced through the realms book and there's no GM chapter there either. There's a chapter with 3 example scenarios, but no thoughts or ideas about how to run a game, no "enemies and adversaries", no "how to build a campaign", no "gm principles", no agenda, no vibes, nothing.i know it's from a different era (first edition published in 2008), but i'm really surprised that 2e doesn't include anything. even the ampersand game does this! they've got whole books dedicated to it (varying quality, depending on the edition).i'll be honest, this has tempered my enthusiasm quite a bit.

companion star

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 14:17:00 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDVDi4avnwkin case you didn't know, vanessa carlton (of "a thousand miles" fame) has continued to release music. her fifth album "Love Is An Art" contains "Companion Star", this beautiful brooding meditation on growth and staying grounded. in the bridge, she repeats "who i want to become, and to whom i always will belong" set to a deep organ. it's my favorite part of the song, a distillation of the whole. i find it satisfying and contemplative, like being wrapped in a warm blanket in the dead of winter.i played it for my wife back when it came out, describing these feelings to her, and she said that the whole song and specifically the bridge left her feeling anxious and sad. wild how different people can experience music.

hot take: spellcheck is bad

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 14:36:00 +0000

i tried to use the word "immiserate" earlier and firefox's spellchecker yelled at me. this is not a technical or archaic word. and yet it doesn't appear in the "top x words" dictionary that's included by default in firefox.my iphone knows the word, notion doesn't know the word, google docs knows it, neovim doesn't know it.why are we reliant on these things to tell us which words are "real"? shit's dumb. there will be people out there who read or hear a word and think "that's a word" and then go to use it in one of these apps, and it will chastise them, saying "that's not a real word". unless they have the temerity to check a real dictionary, they'll just go "i guess i was wrong" and now their chosen speech is worse and the world is less textured than it was before.

palisade theme

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 02:18:00 +0000

I hope I never forget laying in bed after a long day, seeing that jack de quidt had released the theme song for Palisade, putting it on, and feeling swept away overcome completely immersed in the poignancy and delicate tension. I knew then that the season was going to be something special, even after so many bangers, and every single episode has met that high mark.

Reign 2e

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 05:02:00 +0000

I got my copy of Reign 2e and Reign: Realms. I read through the core book, will read Realms tomorrow. Gonna copy my thoughts from pms I sent my friend:Okay, i read it. I skipped the details on the advanced combat and the minutiae of the advantages/powers/magic, but read all the core rules and the company stuff.It’s the most traditional game I’ve read in a long time. It’s fun! I love the ORE, i don’t like binary dice mechanics, i love love love Greg Stolze’s writing voice, i like that the text spends some time to say “gm, don’t just run players through a plot” and “players, don’t just sit around waiting for plot to fall from heaven”. I like that a whole chapter is a “table of contents” of the various subsystems, explicitly saying “choose only the roles you want to make the kind of game you want, please don’t pick everything”

"Yuki's Vacation" and a call for help from chinese speakers

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 16:51:00 +0000

There's an abandoned freeware game made by James Silva (Ska Studios, The Dishwasher, Salt and Sanctuary) in 2002 called Yuki's Vacation. He made it in Visual Basic 6 after Zombie Smasher X as a way of showing how he made games. I was already obsessed with Zombie Smasher X (just look at this gloriousness), so getting access to the source code was a revelation.I spent hours playing around with it, editing the bmps, changing the level design, doing really basic programming (I didn't really know what I was doing) back in 2002 and 2003. It was foundational for me seeing programming as something I could do and not just "magic by people smarter than me".Every so often, I search for the code online and can't find it (because who the hell would keep freeware visual basic code for 20+ years), but I think I've come across it here. The site is in Chinese and even with Google Translate, I can't get the system to allow me to create an account so I can download this. I hope it doesn't cost money to download, but I'm willing to pay $20 if you can help me out here. It's really meaningful to me.

fuck daylight saving time

Sun, 10 Mar 2024 11:23:00 +0000

If Daylight Saving Time has million haters, then I'm one of them. If Daylight Saving Time has one hater, then that’s me. If Daylight Saving Time has no haters, then I’m dead. If the world is for Daylight Saving Time, then I am against the world. Till my last breath, I’ll hate Daylight Saving Time.

buying digital music

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 15:41:00 +0000

i buy almost all of my music through bandcamp, but there are a lot of artists (mostly those signed with big name labels) that don't have their music on it. for the other music i want, i have to use qobuz.qobuz, for those who don't know, is a streaming service and digital music store that sells FLAC/etc versions of music from big labels. It's quite comprehensive and boasts the best per-track streaming payout for artists ($0.04 per track listened).Alongside that, it's significantly more expensive than bandcamp. For example, At the Walls by Enforced is $8 on Bandcamp. Kill Grid (released by Century Media) is $15 for mp3, $18 for FLAC. (I know that At the Walls is cheaper on Qobuz, I'm talking about big label releases rn.)

Name ideas

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 18:28:00 +0000

Fidget Lakeside Barrier Conifer Silicone Harken Methodical Presently

What is this data structure?

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 04:41:00 +0000

I re-discovered a data structure I used many years ago from a game engine. It’s like a queue but is well built for recursive or nested work. The name I know it as is the Pipeline.The data structure is { processed: queue, added: queue }. It has the methods enqueue(…args: any[]): pipeline, peek(): any, and pop(): pipeline.When you call enqueue, you pass in any number of items, which are added to the back of the added internal queue. Like a classic queue, if enqueue is called multiple times in a row, each set of items is added at the end.

shredded cheese

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:56:00 +0000

You ever start shredding cheese for some small portion and then kind of zone out in the simple pleasure of the movement and watching the block in your hand shrink and then you snap to to see the cheese practically poking out of the top of the shredder?Me either

To be a pedant

Sun, 03 Mar 2024 21:37:00 +0000

I hate that “dad joke” has become a cultural thing, specifically being used to refer to puns. Puns are great, but dad jokes as I understood them are about deliberate misunderstandings for comedic effect. They can use puns to find or create the misunderstanding, but the fun comes from the parallel conversation and the moment of realization.

Preganté

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 00:26:00 +0000

Did some big cummies!!!!!!!!!!!

New Inter Arma is one of the best in their oeuvre

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 04:40:00 +0000

https://interarma.bandcamp.com/track/new-heaven

spoiled by fate

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 03:08:00 +0000

We’re 2 episodes from the end of season 15 of rupaul’s drag race, and May’s paramount + preview ended. We signed in with our friend’s account that does ads, and the very first ad we saw was an MTV commercial “celebrating the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 15”

rip dasharez0ne

Sun, 25 Feb 2024 16:02:00 +0000

Learned about the takeover of da share z0ne yesterday, like a lot of terminally online folks. Pretty disappointing and disheartening.I had assumed that, like dril, this was the work of one person who had changed over time. Tastes change, writing voice changes, goals change, so it makes sense that the quality would shift. Not every dril tweet is a banger, not every da share zone is either.But learning that the quality drop comes from a coup by a money grubbing asshole who is only mimicking the better work of the people he stole the account from really fucking sucks. Can’t escape the clutches of greed or money anywhere.

Splint updates! Oops it's been 8 months edition

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 17:18:00 +0000

I forgot to post about the updates back in December, so I'm gonna write about everything from 1.11 through 1.14.The biggest changes since last summer are a global top-level entry in .splint.edn that applies to all files, supporting the upcoming Clojure 1.12 interop syntax ((^[] String/toUpperCase "noah")), and simplifying the internal logic of the pattern DSL so that the short forms are expanded to their full forms before processing.Paired with the global entry in .splint.edn, I implemented :excludes, which will skip specified files or directories in global or in specific rules. The paths can be specified with Java's java.nio.file.FileSystem/getPathMatcher globs or regexes, as well as :re-find and :string. Details here.

she's a biter

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 00:42:00 +0000

L, my 4 year old daughter: I know an old lady who actually ACTUALLY swallowed a thumb!Then she chomped on my thumb.

taylor swift superbowl cookies

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 00:13:00 +0000

May made this cookie cake from scratch.

Viscerally annoyed

Sun, 11 Feb 2024 20:51:00 +0000

I’m trying to learn Ocaml. It’s going okay, learning new languages is hard, and learning new warts is the hardest part. I came across one that’s left me so viscerally annoyed that I might stop learning the language altogether.I’m struggling to write a real post about this lol. I keep deleting my words.I’m annoyed that argument order evaluation is deliberately unspecified in the language spec and the primary compiler evaluates arguments right to left.

At dinner with my wife

Sun, 11 Feb 2024 01:38:00 +0000

Me: why is the menu all Italian words? I thought it was Mediterranean. … i guess Italy is surrounded on all sides by the Mediterranean Sea… “I’m getting Mediterranean tonight, ordering some papa John’s.”

2d6? no thank you, too complex

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 01:27:00 +0000

just popped into my head the time someone complained to me about their issues with PbtA games being that 2d6+stat makes the bell curve too hard to calculate. i'm trying to remember their argument, but they were annoyed that one of the jumps is like 22% difference, and then the next jump was like 15 or 17% or something. i asked if they didn't play pbta because of it and they were like "no, my group just figured out a better curve with d10s and house rule all pbta games to use it instead." i asked if they knew about the Spire and "sparked by resistence" games, and he was like "we're happy with pbta."nerds are very silly what they get hung up on.

gross dude

Sun, 04 Feb 2024 04:01:00 +0000

My wife, about a gross dude on tv: ew, no man, you’re 37, you’re old. Me: you know, I’m about to turn 37. Her: there are some thoughts and feelings related to age I need to reconsider

This Is Us

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 03:12:00 +0000

I’ve been watching This Is Us with my wife, we’re halfway through season 1, and it’s a fine, pleasant show. Lots of well done moments about family and parenthood and generational trauma.However, they also have moments of these characters just cratering their lives instead of doing literally anything else, and it sucks all the fun out of the show. I finally had to leave the room when Kevin literally left his costar on stage opening night of their play, just ran out of the building. The music swelled, the moment was textured with him saying, “I’m thinking about what my dad would do”, showing how meaningful this is/supposed to be. But that shit ain’t cool! Embarrassing yourself is one thing. Humiliating your costar with no explanation is unconscionable.Earlier in the episode, I had to leave the room cuz another moment was also rough and my wife said, “Can you not watch the show at a remove?” No, I cannot. All media I consume I consume fully. To hear a story is to embody the story in my head and in my heart. It’s nice when I’m crying to Joanna Newsom while washing dishes, but it’s annoying when i just want to enjoy some saccharine feel-good drama.

I want a tattoo that communicates the same vibe as putting a rainbow flag in my home’s living window.

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 23:15:00 +0000

I know that such signals aren’t perfect, that bad people also get pride tattoos, that there’s no way to say “I’m safe” unless someone actually interacts with me and makes that value judgment themselves.

gender feelings

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 17:08:00 +0000

i wrote this post last week but i actually came up with the joke back in the fall. i've been mulling it over ever since, and i think i know why it resonates. this might take a moment to write out tho, so my apologies up front.i will start at the end.after much introspection, i am not trans. i feel great in my body, i like being seen as a man and by all accounts i experience gender euphoria, i like being "papa" to my kids "husband" to my wife and "son" to my parents, i like my birth name.

guacamelee thoughts

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 06:57:00 +0000

I’m at the final section of Guacamelee and this game is charming as hell. 2/2 from DrinkBox, tho Severed was significantly better.I can’t wait to finish the main game and then 100% it. A perfect length for a game, imp.

Watching tv with a 2 year old

Sun, 14 Jan 2024 17:34:00 +0000

seinfeld joke

Sun, 14 Jan 2024 12:29:00 +0000

Trans Jerry: I have a suspicion that she’s transitioned just for the jokes.Father: And this offends you as a trans person.Trans Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian!

chicken time

Sat, 13 Jan 2024 13:37:00 +0000

My wife May: You kids want yogurt and granola? My 4 year old, yelling indignantly: I want a bowl of frozen corn!

7 years together and 5 years married

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 16:40:00 +0000

fun fact: our first date, the day i proposed, and the day we got married fall on the same day, jan 11th, each a year apart. makes counting and planning really easy, i highly recommend it.this photo is in the rhinegeist brewery stairwell where we had our first kiss and then a year later where we got married.

tyranny of the blank page

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 14:50:00 +0000

i spent multiple days thinking about a way to approach a technical problem, and decided that starting fresh was the right way to go. i gen'd a new project directory, opened the main file, and then sat and puzzled like the grinch for 3 hours until my puzzler was sore and it was time for bed with nearly nothing written.maybe some of those thoughts will be helpful in the future, but dang it's annoying to make no visible progress.

2023 top games

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 02:02:00 +0000

2023 music wrapped

Sun, 31 Dec 2023 06:15:00 +0000

Everyone I know posted their Spotify Wrapped at the beginning of December. I went a different route and calculated my top 25 albums this year by time spent listening, multiplying scrobbled tracks by their length and grouping by album. (Full list below the fold)

we interrupt this program with an important message

Tue, 26 Dec 2023 14:59:00 +0000

My 2.11 year old opens the door to the bathroom while I’m in it, says: papa, whenever you’re done, wheneve-when you’re done with your penis or butt, when you’re done pooping or peeing, or pooping and peeing, papa when you’re done in the bathroom, can you go to the basement and get my baby yoda doll from out of the basement?

Death Stranding Review

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 17:18:00 +0000

NoahTheDukereviewed Death Stranding: Director's CutCompletedonPlayStation 5The first real mission, you have to carry your deceased mother’s body to an incinerator for cremation. As you leave the compound, the camera pulls back as Low Roar’s Bones plays. Once it ends, you’re left with Sam’s labored breathing and footfalls as the only soundtrack. After delivering the body and lighting the flame, you encounter the otherworldly enemies, the BTs, for the first time in gameplay. The fetus in the glass womb at your chest sobs nonstop until you get away from them.My second kid was born less than a week before I started playing, and my wife’s mom had died unexpectedly 6 months before. I found the entire mission so emotionally trying that I put the game down until the start of the next year.Once I returned, I found a singular experience: meditative, taxing, scary, poignant. I drew a lot of comfort in the effort it took to travel between destinations, relaxing into the mild challenge and allowing my adhd-riddled mind to quiet. The story, on the other hand, repeatedly knocked me on my ass. I cried multiple times, found both pain and solace in the way it handled death and grief and loss. Each of the major characters brought a different aspect of the recovery and healing process to the forefront, and their respective performances were unmatched in games.I take issue with the focus on gun-based violence in the game. It felt great to play, I won’t lie, but it was so discordant with the themes of pain and disconnection and reconnection that I found myself disappointed in its prominence. Especially at the end, with 4 violence-focused bosses in a row, it felt like two games fighting each other for primacy.Accepting that, I think this is a nearly-perfect game, and have spent the rest of the year thinking, “this other game is good, but I should go back to Death Stranding and run some more missions for the preppers.”Reviewed on Dec 25, 2023

i don't like presents

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 04:14:00 +0000

Me: i wonder what its like to enjoy giving and receiving presents My wife May: you’re an insane person

Cobalt Core Review

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 23:52:00 +0000

NoahTheDukereviewed Cobalt CoreCompletedonWindows PCI’ve beaten the boss twice and each time, I feel like a god.The music is brilliant and the art is cute and the writing is really funny and the conceit feels right for the gameplay.Reviewed on Dec 22, 2023

Floppy Knights OST by Grahm Nesbitt micro-review

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 21:54:00 +0000

Perfectly captures the experience of the original Pokémon Red/Blue soundtracks. Catchy, fairly simple, sick solos, every track is memorable. 10/10Game is good too, btw.

Encanto isn’t good

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Every time I watch it (sit and view, or spy it while my kids watch it), I’m taken aback by Abuela’s callousness and cruelty and selfishness. In the opening, she’s tender and kind, and then the rest of the movie she’s heartless. And giving her a last minute redemption by way of her sob story (that we already knew! there’s no reveal! the movie opens with it!) washes away all of the pain and hurt she caused.It’s a movie wearing the clothes of “healing generational trauma” that provides a convenient excuse for older generations. According to the movie, all they have to say is, “I was hurting too” and not only is your pain not allowed to exist anymore, but it’s on you to give them comfort and kindness. Alongside that, no one else is responsible for their culpability in allowing this to happen or for how poorly they treated you. (Seriously, fuck Mirabel’s parents. Spineless cowards.)I don’t feel like writing the whole comparison, but Turning Red does a similar story better.

Forgot about this draft post

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 22:55:00 +0000

I wrote this draft months ago right before bed, planning on coming back to it in the morning. Now I don’t remember what my breakthrough was. Damn. The description below of jnet’s problems is well worth reading if you give a shit, but never resolves lol.Original post:

got 'em lmao

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 23:57:00 +0000

Me, holding six books at Half-Price Books My wife May: that’s a lot of books for someone who doesn’t read books.

too many servers

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 13:53:00 +0000

the funny thing about chat servers is that they're self-contained communities. to feel comfortable in one, you need to spend enough time to both know the other people and to be known by them. you gotta learn the implications and usages of the emoji, you gotta learn the in-jokes and the history, you gotta actually put in effort to be a real part of the community! you can't skip right to the "i enjoy being here" part.i've been in the netrunner slack server for ~7 years. i only have a handful of channels i'm in, and only some of those that are unmuted. i know the regulars, i know and have created the emojis, i am in it. i only got here because i've been chatting and contributing and reading constantly this whole time. just for my little corner! not even the "whole" server, just the channels I'm active in.joining the discord for some new thing is not exciting, it's daunting and intimidating because that means to actually join and care about the community, i need to be willing to put in the high effort it takes to pay attention and participate. it's not a small task, it in fact might be the biggest task.

css in clojure

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 15:41:00 +0000

@voidmoth asked:do you have a preferred method for generating/integrating CSS in Clojurescript projects (via Garden, CLJSS, or whatever else) or do you just end up writing CSS normally?I think Garden is super cool, but I am not a frontend kind of person, so I don't have further strong opinions. For jnet, the original dev used Stylus which we have continued to use. I find css in generally pretty hard to read and stylus in particular very hard to read lol (very deep nesting with no brackets???) but it works so it's hard to hate on.

neon white thoughts

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 17:08:00 +0000

got to the last batch of stages in neon white and these might be the best yet. spoilers below

thoughts on being polyamorous

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 14:15:00 +0000

a friend asked me recently about my "poly" status with my wife, and i started to write a short thing which turned into a long thing. here it is as i sent it to her, to avoid editing and nitpicking it into not getting posted.here's a bunch of pieces that all kind of commingle here, so it's a bit of a mess, but the short version is something like:

autumn sunsets

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 22:13:00 +0000

Me: the sunset is beautiful. Fall is amazing how it feels like the sun has been setting for 4 hours. my wife May: so true bestie 😌

i don't know how to be online friends with people

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 15:02:00 +0000

i have a number of friends i used to see semi-regularly (at least once a year) that was helped by us both being active on facebook. now none of us are very active on facebook and i had some kids and everything is harder to schedule.it's easy to say, "hey i know we haven't spoken in roughly 4 years but i miss you and hope you're doing okay" but how do i have it continue after we finish the pleasantries? the opening is easy, i just wrote it, but after, one on one conversation is hard to sustain without the ease of in-person dialogue.i keep up with other friends because we're in group chats, so there's less pressure to speak directly to one person, you know? i can just throw into the chat "here's a dumb meme, here's a stray thought, here's a comment about my day". but when it's one on one, it feels like the silences are longer and it's harder to maintain any sort of connection.

Money Handling When Married

Sat, 21 Oct 2023 10:22:00 +0000

Before I got married, I heard lots of advice about how to handle money in marriage, such as “have separate bank accounts” and “only use one joint bank account” and “as long as bills are covered, you should buy whatever you want” and “every penny must be accounted for to make sure nothing funny is happening”.Back when we were Dual Income No Kids, I just sent her my half of the bills (as I had moved in with her and they were all in her name). It was easy and simple. Once we had our first kid and she quit her job, there was a question of how to handle spending money. I switched my direct deposit to give me an allowance (personal bills, etc) and then send the rest to her with the comment that she could spend as much as she wanted, that I both trusted her and thought she deserved to buy whatever she wanted.This seemed fine but after two years, she admitted that she didn’t feel free to do whatever, that because her money was muddled in with the bills money, it felt bad to spend it on herself (even tho she knew I was okay with it).

Death’s Door

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 02:37:00 +0000

I’ve started Death’s Door as a palate cleanser after finishing Ghost of Tsushima. I’m an hour in and most of the way through the first dungeon. This game rocks. Feels good to play, the art is pretty and reserved, the music is real nice, and I like this little universe they’ve built. I’m surprisingly intrigued by the main conflict and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

deathcore lol

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 00:55:00 +0000

On the one hand, I don’t wanna hate on someone’s favorite thing.On the other hand, I’m watching a truly boring-ass deathcore band rn and while I already don’t like deathcore, these folks are only making me hate them and the whole genre even more.Giancarlo Esposito face: you think deathcore is not metal. I think classification arguments are dumb as shit and deathcore sucks regardless of what genre it is. We are not the same.

i finished ghost of tsushima

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 04:29:00 +0000

got the platinum trophy cuz i was roughly one hour of collecting away from it.good game, would recommend. i spent way too long on it tho. i tried to resist my base urge to do everything and accidentally did everything, so it took me 55 hours to reach credits.i chose to honor my uncle’s wishes at the end of the game. it was the sadder choice but it felt right and it nicely wrapped up that story.

at this point, i don't know that i can view selling one's company as anything other than an evil act

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 19:35:00 +0000

owning and running a company is already mired in a complex set of circumstances and power relationships that i don't have a firm grasp on, but i at least see an aspect of "thing i built alongside other people and have pride in and want to see succeed as a reflection of myself".and it's like "yes, get the bag, take the money and run" but also, fucking no way dude, have some pride and dignity. “take the money and run” only applies when no one is reliant on you. once you have staff and people relying on you, you can't just sell out without ruining lives.my brother responded to the above with:

bought some more music

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 01:07:00 +0000

https://oromet.bandcamp.com/track/familiar-spirits?_layout=standard&_theme=darsome real bangers in this haul

up all night to get lucky

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 11:17:00 +0000

Me sowing (staying up until 00:45 having sex): haha fuck yes!Me reaping (my kids waking me up at 6:15): well this sucks, what the fuck

If you’re gonna criticize something, don’t make it look cool!

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 22:57:00 +0000

One of my favorite thrash bands is Warbringer. Their lyrics are generally anti-war but they fall into the trap of accidentally glorifying it . The same way full metal jacket is anti-war but it was used as a recruiting tool because soldiers love it.For example, the song Remain Violent is anti-cop and yet the lyrics and the t-shirt makes them look sick as shit. Put some red and black protestors in there! Don’t repeat their slogans!The constant threat of a shot to the chest But defending yourself is resisting arrest City streets that I called my home Are starting to look like a combat zoneAll that's what they want for you to say Is to remain silent Now you have the right to remain To remain violent

got a new shirt

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 01:07:00 +0000

pixar movie rankings

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 11:05:00 +0000

i watched elemental last night and while i'm still coalescing my thoughts on it, i decided to rank the pixar films. feast your eyes on this and scream at me in the comments and rechostsdescending, so cars is my fave:cars toy story 2 turning red coco ratatouille cars 3 a bug's life the good dinosaur monster's inc luca elemental onward brave incredibles 2 the incredibles monsters university toy story

how do you come up with ideas for games lol

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 03:46:00 +0000

i do a lot of hobby programming. it's my primary hobby. i spend a lot of time writing code for fun, but it's quote unquote boring stuff like tinkering with an alternative test framework or building a linter or fixing a bug in a library i use.i sometimes think "i want to make a game, i like games, why shouldn't i?" and then i'm just... empty. completely devoid of ideas or thoughts. i know it's probably something of a muscle i must flex, but i haven't flexed it yet and it's hard to start new things.i'm only thinking of this now because of the unity stuff. feels like there's excitement in the air alongside the dread, people writing tutorials and recommending things, so why not.

y’all ever think about all of the super stimuli you engage with in modern life? i do.

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 03:56:00 +0000

idk why or when this happened but at some point i learned about super stimuli and became deeply unsettled by them and i’m now leery of anything that resemble one. feels too easy to fall off the cliff and lose a sense of what’s “average”.maybe i’m just particular susceptible to them. i read some erotica earlier today and it made my chest constrict in such a way that left me shaken and a little emotionally numb after. a fairly pleasant but also worrisome experience. i want to enjoy my life, i want to be present and engaged, i don’t want to be distracted by thoughts of when i can sneak away to get my next hit of erotica lol.there are many things that feel very good but they’re mostly quite hard to get. what changes when they’re suddenly abundant?

jumbled sexuality thoughts

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 03:47:00 +0000

up front: i gotta pee real bad and im falling asleep on the couch but i had this desire to write some thoughts down and i wanna get them out before starting the work week and forgetting everything until next friday so excuse me. this is gonna be rambly and all over the place.what's my sexuality? i've been thinking about it a lot recently.in short: i like women, but i think i'm "my wife"-sexual.

Fast and Furious thoughts

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 20:47:00 +0000

My wife and I finished Fast and Furious 6 last night. Overall, I really like the series. The action is fun, the fights aren’t gratuitous, the characters have plot armor but there’s still plenty of tension, and I’ve totally bought into the whole “family” thing. I genuinely like the characters and watch to see them happy in their lives.However, the stakes have grown such that the last couple have felt closer to Mission Impossible or a Marvel movie than F&F 1. We’re well past “over the top racing sequences as finale” and I think that’s really sad.I’m gonna keep watching them and enjoying them no doubt, just a little sad we’re so far past the (somewhat) grounded stakes of the original trio of movies.

"one must imagine sisyphus happy"

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 14:56:00 +0000

i accidentally got nerd sniped and wrote up a patch to fix this. i suspect it wouldn't be accepted for fear of breaking existing code, but maybe we could at least print some warningsi gotta find a different hobby than "write patches for clojure that will be rejected" lmao

looking for a live action web series

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 02:38:00 +0000

roughly 20 years ago, i watched a live action web series, a "tv show" but made by nerds and uploaded to the internet in mp4 or quicktime or whatever format we were using back then. i'm searching for it now and cannot find it (cf popular post about how google sucks now).the show was about the crackers and hackers and leakers who got early access to music and movies and released them online, while trying to dodge the feds. the format for each episode was a view of someone's desktop screen and their IRC-equivalent chat windows as they typed messages to each other. in the corner of the screen was a live feed camera of them sitting at their computer, like twitch but with the camera angle usually being from somewhere else in the room.i remember there being like 8-10 episodes and all but the final one were this way: irc chats between the person we were following for that episode and their compatriots, and a nearly static image of them sitting at their computer, fake typing. and then the final one had some handheld camera stuff, some bad acting, and a finale i don't actually remember watching.

Coraline

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 21:11:00 +0000

Rewatched Coraline on our vacation because my 3 year old imprinted on a Coraline doll at the grocery store.The movie fuckin bangs. It’s so good, really witty, beautiful and creepy and unlike Nightmare Before Christmas (which I famously dislike). I love every character, I love the “you must collect 3 items” quest line. I love that the story is about parenting and childhood and isn’t just “my grand/parents are mean so we need to resolve that to move on”. I love the little dogs in their angel wings. I love the dreamlike sequences at the end.I love it all. 10/10

Old memories

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 22:47:00 +0000

Just remembered without provocation that roughly 14 years ago I had reconnected with an old friend from Livejournal. She wanted to be penpals so we exchanged addresses and she sent me a long and intimate letter with drawings in the marginalia, detailing her life after moving to San Francisco.In the letter she included a story about modeling nude. My girlfriend at the time found and read the letter and was upset about that story. She didn’t explicitly say that I couldn’t write back but she made the whole situation uncomfortable enough that I never did write back. I threw the letter away shortly after.I’m sorry I ghosted you, Sarah. Hope you’re doing okay.

gamergate as smog

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 17:51:00 +0000

I hate that gamergate someone buried itself into our understanding of games journalism and games criticism. Frequently I find ostensibly left-leaning (or explicitly leftist) groups and communities who will parrot gg talking points about game reviews or criticism without a hint of self-awareness and then react angrily when called out about it.It’s lazy and dismissive to say that a two thousand word review, published weeks after the game’s release, is merely clickbait design to get ad views. It’s the basest kind of critique, requires no defense, and allows no discussion. It is its own kind of clickbait, a jingoism for terminally online nerds to feel like they’ve seen through some veil of reality. And it comes directly from the gg playbook, a simple means of derailing conversations and sowing distrust and discord.Anyway, I’ve loved the Facebook group “I’m begging you to play another rpg” but seeing the mods delete my comments and reward this shitty behavior has really soured my feelings.

on a fuckin tear recently

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 03:28:00 +0000

when it comes to hobby programming, i don't believe in pushing myself to work on stuff i don't feel like working on. i just lean as far into my strange desire as i have energy, and go where my curiosity leads.for many years this led to heartbreak and contributed to my deep-set sense of failure, as i slowly accrued a graveyard of unfinished projects and codebases where, once i had satisfied some core question, i walked away to do something else.but also, i'm now on my third lil project in the last month, each one has been fruitful and compelling and provocative. i don't know if or when i'll finish them, and yet i feel content with them. i've released more than 10 versions of Splint this year, so what am i looking to prove? nothing.

Meetings

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 17:02:00 +0000

Meetings:Guess I’m not getting anything done today

Mild success!

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 18:14:00 +0000

I have spent every evening over the last week and a bit working on the parser, because a parser is a very good place to start when linting code.My code is bad, I don't know why it works after not working in many other different configurations, the whole mut thing is magical and kind of dumb, but I have achieved some measure of victory!

wife quotes

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 00:37:00 +0000

me: i probably woulda been a pretty good queer my (bi) wife : hm, i don’t know

Performance Chasing

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 21:00:00 +0000

I spend a lot of time thinking about my linter’s performance, and I’ve changed some of the ways I program in Clojure to support that. But it also means that I’ve sacrificed some of the benefits of Clojure and I’m not always writing “idiomatic” Clojure.I dream of moving to a language like Rust or Zig, one that pursues pure speed and efficiency, but I know Clojure and I’m intimately familiar with it, so it would be quite a loss of effort and time to just get back to where I am currently.And for what? My linter runs fast enough! It can lint 120k lines of Clojure in 15 seconds. Is that Ruff speeds? No but it’s pretty dang good.

Split devblog: globs

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 13:57:00 +0000

I’ve been putting off implementing a feature in Splint for months because I worried it would be annoying to write, but I needed it yesterday so I took a stab at it and it basically went as smoothly as I could hope.The feature? Excluding files or file globs from being checked within specific rules or globally from inside the configuration file. Java’s java.nio.file.PathMatcher makes it really simple. I was worried I would have to implement it myself.Lots of hoopla for nothing. Feels great to see it work.

Splint v1.9.0 and v1.10.0

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 14:30:00 +0000

Forgot to post after releasing v1.9.0 back in May, so this is gonna be fuckin huge.In short: v1.9 added a new rule (style/prefer-clj-string) and a new cli flag (--[no-]summary). v1.10 added reading available deps.edn and project.clj files to determine the directories to check, changing the pattern DSL to use a variation of pangloss/pattern's DSL, and to add 5 new rules, 4 of which are performance rules (style/redundant-regex-constructor, performance/assoc-many, performance/avoid-satisfies, performance/get-in-literals, performance/get-keyword).The change in v1.10 means that you can run bb splint or clojure -M:splint and it'll "just work": it'll check the primary directories and the directories under and :test alias without any extra fiddling. This makes it much easier to use quickly. I've always been annoyed at clj-kondo's insistence on forcing the --lint flag for choosing files, and loved Rubocop's "just run it" mentality.

"how do computers work?"

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 18:45:00 +0000

My wife made the mistake of asking me the dreaded question, the one I have attempted and failed to answer for many people throughout my life: “When I push a button on my keyboard, how does it show up on the screen?”We spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to make certain concepts understandable for her. Fun quotes:Me: You know how you can build a physical object that adds two numbers together? Wife: Really? that’s fucked up, I hate that.

early thoughts on vampire

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 15:59:00 +0000

@ridiculousdino asked:Need a vibe check on the new olivia rodrigo songvampire? this song has me so excited for the album. she has leaned into early lorde (complimentary) but with lots of anger. i like this more than everything on SOUR which was fun but felt young and kind of sloppy.

MI-1

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 04:59:00 +0000

Watched Mission Impossible 1 for the first time in probably 20 years with my wife. This movie is fucking awesome. Can’t wait to watch the rest.

tears of the kingdom feelings

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 13:48:00 +0000

sometimes i feel like i play a game and i get it, i just don't enjoy it so i put it down (uncharted series). or i get to a point where the game stops being fun for a variety of reasons (elden ring). other times tho, i spend the whole time going "i don't get it, what's the point, where's the fun?"that's where tears of the kingdom was when i stopped playing it. games like that itch at my brain, cuz i want to get it! i want to be able to say, "okay, i understand what this game is going for, i understand the intended loop of fun, regardless of whether i enjoy it or not, i have some meager understanding of the authorial intent and i think i've experienced enough of that to have a (imo) legit reaction to it"all that said, i watched a fun and slightly annoying video titled "Tears of the Kingdom Wants You to Cheat" and now i feel like i should try the game again.

consistent labels

Sat, 08 Jul 2023 17:35:00 +0000

I understand that consistent labels and acronyms are good, but I think QuILTBAG+ is better than LGBTQAI+.

i like ocaml

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 00:33:00 +0000

@prophet asked:What is your favorite programming language you don't know? :)Ocaml! It’s like Haskell’s cooler friend. :eggbug-devious:

doom spiraling

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 20:19:00 +0000

instead of doing work, i'm chosting because i'm at a point where i don't know that i can reasonably do my job. i've been here over a year and i still can't work tickets without significant help and multiple missed deadlines. knowledge about how the business works or what it does rolls off my mind like water off a duck's back.i think i need a new job, tho the fear lurks that no matter which job i go to, i won't be able to learn it so i'm just buying myself time.the company is good, my coworkers are nice, my boss is extremely chill and friendly, they're serious about everyone taking 4+ weeks of vacation a year and give off extra days every month like they hate work. it's an ideal workplace.

favorite taylor swifts

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 18:50:00 +0000

@ridiculousdino asked:Tell me your favorite tswift song and album please and thank youAlbum is easy: Lover. It came out the year I got married and right after my wife got pregnant, so we were very much in love and feeling hopeful for the future. We listened to it non-stop during a trip to visit my extended family. Brings up a lot of good memories.

Saw Taylor Swift last night

Sat, 01 Jul 2023 13:43:00 +0000

She was great, the show was great. My wife made me a “Lover” themed friendship bracelet with our wedding date (1-11) on it and I wept during the performance of the song.

what is a type?

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 13:44:00 +0000

@wiredaemon asked:What is a type in programming languages? Hot take answers only!In increasing order of heat:

went to a concert and then bought some music

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 14:14:00 +0000

Saw Cave In open for Yob recently and both were amazing. Bought a sick Yob t-shirt and Cave In long sleeve. Went home and purchased all 8 Yob albums on bandcamp and the latest Cave In album.Yob got on stage and immediately started playing. After they finished their first song, Michael Scheidt said, "We have 5 more songs. About an hour and a half.". Before playing their last song, he said, "Instead of wasting everyone's time with a fake encore, we prefer to just play really long sets. Here's our last one." and then played an extra long version of Quantum Mystic.

splint v1.8.0

Wed, 31 May 2023 15:43:00 +0000

1 new rule, 2 new outputs, and one of my favorite changes yet: continue to run after a rule throws an exception.

Splint 1.70

Fri, 26 May 2023 15:01:00 +0000

v1.7.0 adds a new rule, a new cli flag, and two new output options. Details under the fold.

splint 1.6.0 and then of course 1.6.1 lol

Tue, 23 May 2023 20:10:00 +0000

Small bug fix this time:I of course fucked up the adhoc deploy script I built, so when I pushed 1.6.0, I didn't actually tag it and didn't commit any of the changes and really just messed it all up, so I cut another release immediately. I wish I could just write the code and will it onto my user's computers.

Finished death stranding

Sat, 13 May 2023 13:13:00 +0000

Spoilers under the fold

Splint 1.3.0 and 1.4.0 and 1.50

Fri, 12 May 2023 15:28:00 +0000

Gonna put the patch notes below the fold

adhd x remote work

Wed, 03 May 2023 20:57:00 +0000

idk how people do remote work. i've been at it for 3 years and these have been the least productive, most frustrating and painful years of my software career.work on something. get frustrated. open a new browser tab. go to facebook/cohost/lobsters/etc. immediately close the tab because i should be working and it's not helpful to just mindlessly scroll to avoid doing work. look at the code again. feel frustrated. open a new browser tab. go to...repeat for 3 years.

disney music thoughts

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 14:45:00 +0000

my kids are growing into prime animated movie ages, so we're been listening to a lot of the disney and related animated musicals, as well as watching other animated movies too. because of who i am as a person, i spend a lot of time deeply thinking about this stuff because it's omnipresent. i could write up whole posts about them individually but i'm just gonna put down a couple thoughts to purge them.

splint 1.2.2 and 1.2.3 and 1.2.4

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 16:12:00 +0000

oops, forgot to post in here about these (not that anyone on cohost uses splint :eggbug-sob:)1.2.2 big changes:

another loss

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 19:50:00 +0000

someone i knew roughly 6 years ago passed away at her own hand. this is the third one in the last year, which doesn't even go back to my wife's mother 1.6 years ago.there are 6 million many ways to die and i know that the older i get the more people i know will die, but this is a particularly gutting form.she had a kid, 7 or 8 years old at this point.

every child is my own

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 13:48:00 +0000

i’ve always liked kids but raising my own kids has now made every kid i see my own kid, invisible cities style.it’s both endearing and scary. if i think about it too much (like when chosting), makes me cry.

card shark

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 13:37:00 +0000

Started playing card shark on my switch and it’s great. The performance required has made it much more dramatic and challenging even in this first hour. Can’t wait to see where it goes next.

splint 1.2.1

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 15:18:00 +0000

since 1.0, i've done a fair amount of work:shit's coming along nicely and i feel good about it. still fast as hell

vivo thoughts

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 15:04:00 +0000

Watched Vivo again with my family cuz I’ve been playing the music. Still amazing, has both my wife and I crying at multiple points. Death is sad, turns out, and stories centered in grief and resolution are powerful even when wrapped up in catchy songs and beautiful art.The cgi isn’t as good as a Pixar film, they’re best in class, but the commingling of 3d and 2d in the memories/imagination sequences is perfect, and I like the stylized bodies and faces.

survived a round of layoffs

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 13:37:00 +0000

company fired some of my coworkers. i somehow survived; i suspect because i'm cheaper than them. doesn't feel so good.gonna get saddled with my ex-coworker's project that he's spent a month preparing for and was going to get me up to speed on next week, lol. he's written some documentation but let's be real, there's a lot of shit in his brain he didn't put to paper and now i have to start from nearly 0 without him or our project manager (also fired) and will probably be expected to meet the same deadline.in the big meeting where the ceo talked about it after it happened, he said that the company is still doing well and we have 4 years of runway and that there's no need to panic and that we're still hiring for some positions. shameless

adhd vibes

Thu, 23 Mar 2023 18:40:00 +0000

sometimes it's like i'm jacked into the matrix, the work i have in front of me consumes not just my field of vision but my entire raison d'être. every part of my brain is tuned for the problem space, every breath drives me forward like ramming speed in ben-hur, the words and thoughts shift around in front of my eyes. my thoughts get so incredibly loud that i can't hear my wife from across the table.other times, my attention feels like the subject of my focus was burned with the fire that burns things out of time. in a meeting and not picking up a single word my coworker is saying. looking at code and being unable to hold the previous expressions in my head as i scan my eyes across the screen. feeling so unmoored from my body and my experiences that i can't form sentences.frankly, both are exhausting.

splint reaches 1.0

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 16:27:00 +0000

i don't like waiting around for version 1.0. 0ver is funny but annoying. BE NOT AFRAID. so i've released splint 1.0.it has disabling rules, it doesn't choke on any code i've thrown at it so far, and the set of rules it has is pretty great. there's loads more work to be done, such as moving most of the "lint" rules to "style", which will invariably break folks config lol, but why wait?the specific updates this time are:

whomst can i talk to?

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 13:28:00 +0000

sometimes, i have a conflict with my wife and i'm unsure if i did the "right thing", if i acted in a way that's consistent with my values and my ideal self, and if there's space between our shared expectations that i can either stand firm and say, "i acted in an acceptable manner, it's not on me to manage this" or i can bend and say, "i acted inappropriately, i'm sorry, i'll try to do better in the future."that is hard to know and i've spent a lot of time over the years thinking about it in both directions applied to many various situations.my frustration comes when i feel like i don't have a good perspective on the situation and i want feedback or outside help. this is the perfect place for a therapist, but for various reasons, i no longer have access to one. so i could reach out to a friend or family member. but who do i want to burden with whatever nonsense i'm experiencing?

splint update: magic comments edition

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 04:16:00 +0000

I did it, nerds. I added support in splint v0.1.119 for magic comments aka directives aka clj-kondo style #_:splint/disable or #_{:splint/disable [lint/plus-one]}. This means that folks can now pepper their code-base with stuff that has very limited utility! I'm very excited to see this become a piece of infrastructure when it certainly should not.I'm up to 3300 lines of Clojure, which is fucking sick. This is maybe the most code I've ever written from scratch for a single project. I'd love for other people to contribute, but as of right now, only one person has tried, and they just fixed a typo in the readme.If you use Clojure, please check this out, I would love to get your feedback.

splint/ignore

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 18:52:00 +0000

Quick follow-up because I meant to post that last night and accidentally left it in my drafts.I came up with the idea of parsing #_:splint/ignore the way clj-kondo does it: attaching it as metadata to the following form and then check for the metadata when rules checking. I modified my fork of edamame and it works great, but it's a bit more bulky now. Seems to add a very slight increase in parsing time (2-5ms) which is an acceptable increase.I posted in #edamame on Clojurian slack about it, and Borkdude (maintainer of edamame and clj-kondo) recommended using str/replace to convert #_:splint/ignore to ^:splint/ignore, which would remove the need for a fork while still attaching the metadata. It works, but it's much more error-prone; regex is a wild beast and cannot be contained.

Splint rambling: Clojure Parsers

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 18:36:00 +0000

I want another parser because I want access to comments. Without comments, I can't parse magic comments, meaning I can't enable or disable rules inline, only globally. That's annoying and not ideal. However, every solution I've dreamed up has some deep issue.

Announcing splint 0.1.69

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 20:53:00 +0000

After lots of work, I have a "good enough" version of splint, my new Clojure linter, that I can now share it with y'all. It has 73 rules, extremely minimal config and cli, and runs faster than every other linter on the market while being only moderately dumber.I have lots of big plans for this bad boy but for now, suffice to say that it works and it's fast and it's pretty dang cool to make stuff.

splint update

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 04:10:00 +0000

I’ve named my new clojure linter splint, a portmanteau of spat and lint. Spat is the name of the s-expression pattern matching/regex library I wrote, the name also a portmanteau from s-expression and pattern.Why another linter? Because I am dissatisfied with the current crop of them.

Clojure Linters

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 04:35:00 +0000

Clojure’s best linter, clj-kondo, is pretty dang great. It covers a lot of ground: checks syntax, provides light type checking, tracks variables and usage, an entire hook system for linting/reading custom macros statically (without code execution), etc. it’s quite extensive.

Thoughts on RRR

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 20:34:00 +0000

I feel like RRR showcased a style of melodrama that I don't see super frequently. The term that comes to mind is "legibility", a word/concept that @austin has placed into my brain. RRR doesn't try to use lots of dialogue or subtle acting, it leans into big emotions in all directions and keeps both the content and conveyance relatively easily understood, but then treats those big emotions as real and legitimate.Mild spoilers below:

jinteki.net v114 release notes and thoughts

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 21:12:00 +0000

In release v114, Francesco Pellegrini fixed a whole mess of bugs, added set-mark command, and added some tests to cover bug reports we couldn't reproduce. I added compiling css and cljs in Github Actions, to catch basic compiler errors.

Full Parhelion implementation on jinteki.net

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 21:21:00 +0000

I have just released Null Signal Games' newest set Parhelion on jinteki.net. (Release notes here.)My life has been a mess the last year and it pains me that I don't have the time or availability to put 20+ hours of work into jnet anymore, as it desperately needs it, so please accept my humble apologies for the long delay between releases. Congrats to the whole jnet team for their hard work and tireless efforts in implementing 120 new cards in the span of a couple weeks in preparation for this day.

immortality x cohost

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 05:26:00 +0000

:eggbug: 😏 :eggbug:

rant about clojure and community stewardship

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 00:05:00 +0000

I commented on someone else’s post about open source community norms and brought up Rich Hickey’s Open Source is Not About You. I said that I admired the stance after initially thinking it rude. However,,,I can’t help but wonder what Clojure could look like if it was less preciously held by those in charge. I don’t want Rust levels of development speed, that’s too much and too fast for my taste. But it dampens my enthusiasm for the language and my faith in the team when they respond with such disinterest in things that don’t materially impact them directly.Sharp edges and places of friction are ignored or brushed away as unimportant, like stack traces or error messages in general. Bugs that have available patches can be left to bitrot, sometimes for years (concat stack overflow patch), and bugs without patches can be ignored or treated as too prevalent to fix (keyword regex, type hinting symbol vs vector in defn).

eggplant

Sun, 30 Oct 2022 23:37:00 +0000

I listen to the Eggplant podcast and think “I could make a game” but then I sit down to program and I have no ideas. The primary thing I enjoy is programming, not game design, even tho I want to enjoy game design.Same with roguelikes. Every year during Roguelikedev Does the Complete Tutorial, I give it a try even tho I am very bad at roguelikes and have never beat one or even come close.All of this is to say, I’ve joined the Lisp Game Jam 2022 using Clojure and I’m probably going to make a roguelike because graphics and action are hard lol. We’ll see how it goes!

From Elegance to Speed, with Clojure

Sat, 02 Oct 2021 22:33:00 +0000

I recently came across a blogpost about rewriting an "elegant" function in Clojure into an optimized function in Common Lisp.In it, John Jacobsen discusses how they went from this Clojure code:

Restarting the project

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 12:01:00 +0000

I started writing a little blog in the summer of 2017, when I had really hit a local maxima happiness. A year into my software career, feeling medium good about Avuity, feeling very good about May, it seemed right to talk about it, even privately. I'm very glad I wrote all those things down. It makes me quite happy to read Marriage and see the seeds of good decisions, even if the execution took a lot of work.Why start blogging again now? Because in between writing code every day, I feel like I have thoughts and reactions to things I read and try. I read all of Test-Driven Development in a single day, and like 99 Bottles of OOP before it, I walked away with my brain on fire. I've begun reading Domain-Driven Design, and I can feel it poking at my brain in the same way. I don't want to lose this feeling, nor do I want to lose the insights these books are providing.It's very easy to grind through a tough problem (personally or professionally) and then move onto the next problem without 1) reviewing what I (we, in the context of teams) learned or what challenged me, or 2) putting any effort into practicing or preparing for the future. Mindfulness when learning and practicing goes a long way towards cementing valuable lessons, much in the same way adding and reviewing flash cards might. (I've had my time with Anki, I don't think I need to do that right now.)

Archibus and the SELECT N+1 Problem

Sun, 27 Aug 2017 12:51:00 +0000

This past week, I had the opportunity to contribute to an existing custom report built for a client. It loaded incredibly slowly, so in between working on the contribution I had been tasked with, I also took it upon myself to speed it up. I think it's time to share what I've learned.

Blank

Tue, 08 Aug 2017 21:56:00 +0000

I'm siting here at 1215 after another long day, and I've been thinking to myself, what am I doing? I don't need to spend the money, I don't need to drink wine, I don't need any of this. On the other hand, the wine tastes amazing, the music in my headphones and the music played by the two jazz dudes in the corner are both bangin, I'm written some really good facebook posts today. I don't regret my decisions.I had dinner with dad, and he whipped out some classic Jon Bogart-isms. Stuff like, if I actually wanted to do certain things I'd just change the rest of my life to make them happen (wrt travel vs eating out all the time). What's great is, I can let that shit fall away from me easily nowadays. I hear it, I recognize the kind of effect it's had on me at various points in my life, and I let it fall to the wayside. Jonny Dee is a smart man, he's encountered a lot over his life, and I value his wit and wisdom, but like so many pseudo-negative aspects of my life, I have to be willing to say, “No, I don't need to accept this as my current truth” the way I did in high school or college or after college.I've been feeling really good recently about my place in the world, my goals and my efforts, and the work I've put into my various relationships. I don't know exactly where I'm headed, but like I said a couple posts ago, I'm at a crossroads and I'm trying so hard to navigate this one correctly.

Pain

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 15:11:00 +0000

I don't know what I'm here to write, I just know that I have this feeling like I should keep it up. So here I am, writing more.What's the point of writing for one's self? Reflection? I don't get my actual feelings out if I'm not conversing with someone. Julie talks about reading her journals from when she went to therapy early in her relationship with Jon and how much clarity she finds in it, how nice it is to see the clear lines of work and effort and thought that went into various decisions in her life. I don't do that. Maybe I should? I honestly don't find it compelling to write for myself. The kinds of thoughts that I write don't accurately represent me internally in a given moment. Maybe like a sign post signifying the general area it might be helpful to write the various interpretations I've created from parts of my life, and then look back on them later, saying, "Ah from this vantage point, I can see the shape of the land, the whole from all of the pieces I could barely consider when in the tasks and minutia."Compare this to when I was in high school and early college, writing on Livejournal. I experienced so many strong emotions I had trouble processing, and writing for that kind of audience helped a bit. So many of those old posts feel like I couldn't handle the changes in my life, external and internal. Not so much like that anymore.

Marriage

Sun, 30 Jul 2017 19:09:00 +0000

I'm at this weird crossroads in my life right now, where I can push hard to get married and settle down, and I could also dive back into the "dating" life I led in the winter/spring months. After lots of hemming and hawing, I had some excellent conversations with Ally on Friday night and Saturday morning, which has led me to the conclusion that I should get married. I should ask May, in fact, to marry me.I "preposed" to May on Saturday night, after we smanged. Almost said it during, but I had the good sense to wait until we were cuddling afterwards. Honestly, I'm a fool with timing. Thankfully, The Kindest Human, May, responded very positively and generously, considering that I had informally asked her to consider marrying me. We're having a conversation tomorrow evening (2017-07-31T20:30 ish). I hope it goes well, and based on the comments we've made to each other, I suspect the smanging will eclipse the marriage talk, lol.

Intro

Sat, 29 Jul 2017 17:15:00 +0000

Starting any project is difficult, and I suspect regular blogging is not an activity I'll have much luck with, seeing as I've classically hated all forms of writing. However, along with the work in self-care and Success Oriented Mindset I've implemented over the last year, I think it's time to attempt to conquer this issue as well.Also, at this point, all I have to do is twist something into a vaguely "programmery" design, and I fall head-over-heals into it, desperate for any reason to apply my skills at programming, even when I have no idea what I'm doing.No one will read this, and I sure as fuck hope not. That's okay. We'll see how I feel about it in a week.