Commissions
I have commissioned an erotic piece of art. (You can see it in the brand-new Gallery.) As seen there, I previously commissioned a profile pic from Flynn Nichols, which I still use 3 years later and love dearly. Erotic art is different, however. I have a lot of mixed up feelings with sex and I've been struggling to untangle them.
I think the crux of the issue is that I am an erotic being, a bag of meat that experiences sensual pleasure, horniness, anticipation, climax, sweat and blood and saliva. However, we live in an age where such feelings are chastised if not downright vilified. Our tv shows are full of chaotic violence but a single nipple is enough to spawn a letter-writing campaign. Interpersonally, it can be scary to express such things because I have a family. What happens when a weirdo decides to attempt to ruin my life because they don't like something I expressed about sex? Am I so sure my boss, my church, my friends, even my family will be on my side? Hard to say with any confidence.
In the face of that pressure, I say, "I am who I am." I like erotic art and I will not hide that so.
Alongside that, I want to support the artists I like and admire, and sometimes I have a desire to see something that does not currently exist (usually related to characters from stories I like). I do not have the skills to produce those pieces myself but I do make a fair amount of money, and spending my allowance on someone who needs it significantly more than I feels good in both ways: I support an artist who needs the money, and I contribute to the world of art through my patronage. $180 USD isn't no money, but the median salary in Brazil is $500 USD, so I can make someone's life measurably happier, maybe even better.
How on earth could I say no to that?