how do you be a good parent to a kid with a touch of the 'tism when you also have a touch of the 'tism

i'm not doing a good job and we can't see an occupational therapist until july.

my 4 year old probably has sensory processing disorder and adhd, she's self-confident and precocious but lacking in any real world experiences, and she triggers me nearly every day like i'm living at home with my dad. (that's another story for another day.)