someone i knew roughly 6 years ago passed away at her own hand. this is the third one in the last year, which doesn't even go back to my wife's mother 1.6 years ago.

there are 6 million many ways to die and i know that the older i get the more people i know will die, but this is a particularly gutting form.

she had a kid, 7 or 8 years old at this point.

i can't imagine the overwhelming pain and deep strength needed to do it.

i don't know why this one is hitting so much harder than others but it does and i'm tired.

in the interview with the pentament writer josh sawyer, rob zacny said, "on your best day, there is still the grief of mortality waiting for you."

living in the shadow of grief. every death weighs heavier than the last.

and just to be clear to my gentle readers, this is not the path i will ever take. tallest man on earthy might have been talking about the end of a relationship, but i take to heart the line from drying of the lawns when he says, "but i will stand down in the hallway with no thought to leave the set of a movie I will sure as hell not end just yet".