company fired some of my coworkers. i somehow survived; i suspect because i'm cheaper than them. doesn't feel so good.

gonna get saddled with my ex-coworker's project that he's spent a month preparing for and was going to get me up to speed on next week, lol. he's written some documentation but let's be real, there's a lot of shit in his brain he didn't put to paper and now i have to start from nearly 0 without him or our project manager (also fired) and will probably be expected to meet the same deadline.

in the big meeting where the ceo talked about it after it happened, he said that the company is still doing well and we have 4 years of runway and that there's no need to panic and that we're still hiring for some positions. shameless

he didn't mention how the now-fired director of engineering just had a kid last month or how the now-fired engineering manager has done multiple talks every year for the last 3 years about the company and why we chose the tech stack we did (which is sometime brought up in interviews) or how the now-fired staff engineer was in the process of revamping our CI pipeline to run in sub 5 minutes instead of 25, or how the now-fired aforementioned mid-level engineer was working on this new feature that clients have been begging for for literally years but all the momentum for the project has disappeared so who knows when it will be delivered.

he also didn't say anything about how we just had a massive re-org in November where we hired a bunch of people and flew out the entire engineering department to announce the creation of a whole new team and shuffling all of the team's roles so that they're more clearly defined and how firing roughly one team's worth of people (including one of the team's managers) has now ruined that work and effectively stalled any forward progress on those fronts.

i want to be grateful that i'm not out of a job again (as i was in jan-feb last year) and i am to a point, but i'm also deeply sad and angry. i spoke with two coworkers in hushed tones at that in-person team meeting in november about our salaries and how we should unionize. they were interested but i doubt the rest of the team is. shameful

can't imagine working anywhere other than software and being happy, but i also can't imagine doing this for 30 more years and feeling good about it.

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